I’m baffled. I use Amazon and E-bay a lot and I understand that if something is too large for my standard sized letter box or needs a signature, that you take it back to your house down the road where I can collect it between the hours of ‘fast asleep’ and ‘just had my lunch’. I accept this. However, I have found that lately, more and more of my parcels have been taken back to your house only to find when I collect them, that they are all much smaller than my standard sized letter box. Soft squishy items, items wrapped in hard cardboard, long thin items – all taken back to your house for collection.
I wonder sometimes if your postpeople ever played ‘perfection’ as a child – a game where you had to fit the yellow counters into their respective shaped holes before the timer ran out and the board ‘popped up’ and threw the counters into the eyes of all who spectated. Or maybe they all played that one where you have lots of different shaped wood, a board with holes in and a rubber hammer – trying to hammer the star shape through the round hole has scarred them so badly they can only post items that won’t touch the sides of my letterbox lest the sound of thumping rubber returns and haunts them all the way back to the depot.
My complaint, apart from the one above, regards a delivery of contact lenses from Vision Express. They send them out quarterly in a box with the following dimensions 34x34x34 specifically to ensure they can be posted through a standard sized letter box. However, in August, my latest delivery didn’t arrive – I waited a month – still nothing and so I wrote a complaint letter to Vision Express to enquire where my lenses were. They said they’d sent them but where could they be?? No card was left by the postperson. It was a mystery. I spent the next three months bumping into things and speaking to vague shadows.
As they say, heaven comes to (s)he who waits and the mystery soon unravelled as I returned home on Tuesday 18th December to find my latest consignment of lenses propped up against my front door. This letterbox shaped item had been left outside my property in full view of my neighbours (who FYI pretend to wipe the blinds in order to watch what I’m doing every time I’m in the garden. They use their front window as a kind of ‘reality TV’ which is quite annoying.) This leads me to believe that my first set of contact lenses (remember them?) was probably propped up against my door and this parcel (worth £66 in optical enhancing apparatus) was stolen or taken off by a Golden Eagle (did you see the clip on youtube?? Mad wasn’t it?).
And so you now get the gist of my terminal bafflement. Could you please clear up :
1. Why do you not post items that will clearly fit through letterboxes when they’re not fragile and don’t have to be signed for?
2. Why would you prop a parcel up against someone’s door? Especially one that has been specifically designed by the world’s top scientists to fit through the letterbox?
I hope you’re going to write to Vision Express and apologise to them for my shouting at them because of something you did!?
I await your response with interest but please send it in a star-shaped envelope to see if your postpeople really do have post-traumatic perfection disorder or not.
Regards
